Three Tyrants
by Blaze Meikyokan
Summary: The three people that everybody loves (to beat up on, if your a Z Senshi) get an appartment together!! =D
1. Three Tyrants and a Fish

Three Tyrants and a Fish  
  
  


Ever wonder what would happen if our three favoritve Dragon Ball Z villains ever got an apartment together??? Well it's time to get those juices flowing, read up....this is written as diary entries....  
  
**Day One:**  
  
**Dear Diary: **Eeyah! It's me again! Your faithfull and humble friend, Buu! Great news I found an apartment!! And even better news...I'm sharing the rent with two other people who are a lot like me! How nifty is that?! Well that's about all I have time for right now...I have to move all of my stuff! Bye! ~Buu  
  
**Stupid Book: **Yes I'm back...I know we've had our differences in the past...like that time I put you in the microwave....well no hard feelings eh? Well at any rate, I've started writing this again because I've aquired an apartment with two fellow villains. It proves to be an event to enjoy...I'm obviously the strongest out of the three, and obviously the smartest...the pink one seems to be a stark raving lunatic....ah well, one can't be picky. ~Cell  
  
**Captains Log: **Bah...it's been my misfortune to fall in with inferior lifeforms. I'm being forced to live in an apartment with them and pay a third of the costs...It's lunacy I tell you! I am the great Freeza!!!! I am the strongest being in the universe! I don't deserve such treatment....but it's ok....I'll play along for now....and when they least suspect it...I'll show them...I'll show them ALL!!! BWAHAHAHAHA! ~Freeza  
  
**Day Two**  
  
**Stupid Book: **I was most definately right...I am the smartest of the three of us...when first entering the apartment with our belongings, the pink one marched straight into the closet and declared it was his room. And the short, odd one with glass on his head made an attempt to claim the master bedroom. I quelled that little uprising rather quickly, it's sad really...I took one step in his direction and he ran into the smaller room. We're still getting settled in, but everything should be fine within a day or two...it should not take as long for me to establish myself as the master of the apartment.... ~Cell  
  
**Captains Log: **I fooled that doofy green guy today. When we entered the apartment with our things, I, for obvious reasons, felt need to stake my claim on the master bedroom. This did not appease the poor weak idiot, as he expressed by declaring he would "render me limb from limb". Well, I wasn't scared in the least, but I let him think I was...I pretended to flee for my life while moving my things into the smaller room. It's ok...I'll let him have the larger room for now...but he'll reap what he sows soon enough. Oh...and that pink idiot was flipping off of the table and into a soup bowl earlier....why are such pathetic lifeforms allowed to exist? *sigh* Ah well...I'll rectify the problem at the earliest opoortunity. ~Freeza  
  
**Dear Diary: **YEEHAW!! This appartment is the BEST! There's a pool right in the kitchen! The diving board is shaped a bit oddly, but other than that, it's great! I pulled a fast one over my new roomates, though. Boy are they dumb....they were too busy fighting over the gym and the lounge to see me walk into the only bedroom in the apartment. I wonder why there's only one bedroom anyway...there seems to be an awfull lot of accessaries for a one bedroom apartment. Oh well...I guess I'll figure it out later. Bai bai! ~Buu  
  
**Day Three  
  
****Dear Diary: **I bought us a pet today! It's a fish, can you believe it?! I walked into the store and there it was, looking straight back at me, and I just had to buy him! The man behind the counter said something about "money", but I think he was just pulling my leg. He was also shouting something about being sorry....what an odd person. Well, I'm very happy about the fish! I gave him his very own room, too! There was this big porcelain tank with no top that wasn't being used, so I filled it and let him use it. Freeza and Cell haven't seen him yet...I can't wait! Oh I nearly forgot! The names of my roomates are Freeza and Cell.....such strange names...why not have something more down to Earth, like Buu? Well I guess that nobody is be perfect. Bai bai! ~Buu  
  
**Stupid Book: **I am perfect. It's not something that can be argued, it is a simple fact. I went out today to find a job, and I found three. One as a mall security guard, one as a receptionist, and one as a circus clown. Needless to say, I don't need to work at all three of these, I'll give them to Freeza and Buu...I believe Buu is best suited to be the circus clown, and Freeza would fail miserably at being a mall security guard, so I shall take that upon myself. I certainly had a productive day...not only did I find three jobs, but already I'm begining to aquire a small cult following. Even with all my power, I'll need a stick to keep those lovesick women at bay....no small task, there are quite a lot of them I'm afraid. ~Cell  
  
**Captains Log: **Today was stupid...I left the apartment to look into aquiring some henchmen to do my evil deeds for me, and found nothing but common hoodlums. It's ok though, it's not like I NEED other people to do things for me, I just prefer it...why should I have to go out of my way to do such trivial things as taking over the world and exacting revenge? I'm the strongest being in the universe, if I REALLY wanted to, I would do all these things. What was even worse, when I returned home Cell, the weak green idiot, informed me that he got me a job as a receptionist. I accepted, but only because I'm not yet ready to make my move...for now I shall play his game...and on top of all that, Buu...the idiotic pink one, was ranting and raving about his "nifty new pet". I had no idea what he meant and did not care to find out... ~Freeza  
  
**Day Four  
  
**Captains Log: Today was a complete wash....this morning I was assaulted by a maniacal aqautic animal in our bathtub. It must have been an extremely powerfull creature, for it beat me ruthlessly until the one called Buu came and fed it from a small bottle. I obviously underestimated this Buu, for his control over this mammoth of power was uncanny. He did however yell at me for invading in "Spot's Tank"....I suppose he meant that power hoarding monster in the bathtub. At any rate, I spent the rest of the day on the couch eating ice cream and ding-dongs, trying to think of evil things to do to the universe while recovering from my wounds. First things first though....this "Spot" must be stopped....if he conquers the universe before I do, I'll never be able to forgive myself.....~Freeza  
  
**Dear Diary: **Can you believe that mad man Freeza tried to invade Spot's tank? Oh....I named the fish Spot, because he has a black spot over his face. That Freeza is just a bad person.....when I heard the noise I went running over to check on Spot, I thought he might have called his friends and started a party. But when I got in there, I found Freeza in Spot's tank!! I figured that he must be visiting him, so I called Spot over to give him his breakfast. Freeza made such a ruckuss and stormed out of the bathroom, so I told him never to invade Spot's tank again. I guess some people are just stupid....invading a poor fish's tank like that. He even said that Spot didn't belong there! Of all the nerve! After that, I left the house to go work at this nifty new job that Cell got me! He said he got one for Freeza too, but he hasn't told him yet. It doesn't really matter, I have the coolest job of all! I get to be a comic actor in a big tent inside the park! It's just so nifty!! The people really like my acting, they were laughing so hard! Well, I'm off to bed now...which reminds me, the beds in my room are very narrow... ~Buu  
  
**Stupid Book: **My roomates are morons....first of all, that moronic Buu bought a Japanese Fighting Fish and put him in the bathtub, without telling anybody. And then that idiot Freeza went in to take a bath and tried to attack the fish. He doesn't know it, but I was watching him while he was doing it. When he saw the fish in the tub, he stopped dead in his tracks and started snickering. Then he pointed at the fish and declared that it's death would usher in his reign of terror. I fought the urge to laugh, I was intrigued, but then that bumbling idiot made to dash at the fish and slipped. He hit the tub headfirst and then slide into the wall. He got up and looked at the fish in such horror....I guess he thought that the fish did it. At any rate, he jumped into the tank to hit the fish, but he missed, hit his knee on the rim of the tub, and flipped in. The fish wasn't too happy about being disturbed and actually attacked him. Freeza was cowering against the wall when I left. When I got to work at the mall, they told me to put on this tacky uniform. I of course refused, and my boss was about to yell at me when I showed him a good reason not to by throwing him into the wall. He didn't aruge much after that, and I went about my business of guarding the mall. That's another matter entirely, there was this juvenile delinquient who tried to shoplift. Needless to say, I killed him and returned the stolen goods to the store. After that, everything was pretty quiet. ~Cell  
  
**Day Five:  
  
**Dear Diary: Another great day as a comic actor! My boss even gave me a bonus today! Now I get a whole ten dollars!!! I must be the luckiest guy in existance! I felt so good when I got home that I decided to do some training in the gym. It's pretty fragile for a training area....most of the stuff inside blew up right away. I guess I'll have to replace everything, but that shouldn't be too hard. Oh yeah, and I found a note by Spot's tank today...it said "A token of peace" and it was next to a little hat. I don't know where it came from, but I put the hat on Spot's head, and he liked it!! He even did a few flips! Well, I'm pretty tired again...my job is fun, but tiring. Bai bai! ~Buu  
  
**Stupid Book: **When I got home today I found my room a wreck. The only one home at the time was Buu, so I asked him what happened. That idiot said that the gym was kind of fragile, but it was nothing to worry about because he was going to replace everything. I've never met such an idiot....I told him that it wasn't a gym and he looked at me like I had three heads. I have no idea where Freeza is, and frankly I don't care. Oh...and all those women tried to rape me when I left the house this morning. I was forced to fly to work. Being perfect is a chore at times....~Cell  
  
**Captains Log: **I left a small peace offering for that monster today, then I spent the day on the roof. I had to sort out my thoughts. I had a trying ordeal today as well...there was an evil flock of winged creatures up on the roof with me, and they tried to kill me. I showed them who was boss though....I managed to kill one of them and the rest of them fled in terror. It took most of my power to accomplish killing this one, and I'm glad that my plan worked.....~Freeza  
  
**Day Six:  
  
**Stupid Book: That damned Buu wrecked my room again! I swear to it, I'm going to kill him....but that's not even half of the problem. He gave that damned fish of his a bowl on wheels, and now the thing is free to travel on it's own. I tripped over the damned thing, and Buu had the gaul to yell at me for attacking it. On top of all that, a lawyer came to the house and handed me a summons for the events at the mall. He forced me to kill him. I'm forgetting something...that damned fish managed to knock over the refrigerator. The kitchen is now a mess, and all Buu can do is roll around on the floor and clap his hands like a three year old child. This is begining to work my nerves, and it hasn't even been a week....~Cell  
  
**Captains Log: **I've finally come up with the perfect scheme! Tommorow I'm going to kill that moronic green idiot before he goes to work. I'll catch him from behind as he's leaving! It's the perfect plan...and if that bumbling pink idiot wants to jump in, I'll destroy him as well....as long as that devious creature doesn't attack me. My vengence will finally be fullfilled, and soon enough I'll destroy that hideous monster as well....  
  
**Dear Diary: **I had a great work out in the gym before work today....but work wasn't all that great today....I just found out that I'm not a comic actor...I'm a clown!!!!! Those people were laughing AT me!!!! I can't believe this!! I've been crying all day, I'm so upset! I spent most of the day in my room, coming out only to give Spot his new moving tank and to play with him a little bit. He made me happy, but then I went back into my room. ~Buu  
  
**Day Seven:  
  
****Fools: **Today was the day of all days. Freeza attacked Cell as he was leaving the house today, and Cell beat the living hell out of him. Buu woke up and started to fight Cell to defend Freeza. Freeza took this opportunity to attack them both, and they teamed up to slaughter him. None of them saw me coming as I rolled up in my transportation vehicle and charged up a massive beam of power. When they finally realized, it was too late, and I was already upon them. Freeza was fragged beyond all belief, Cell and Buu both reformed. I knew that I could have destroyed them both right then and there, and they knew it too...I read their minds....but I decided against it. I turned my hat around backwards and rolled out of the apartment to start my reing of terror. No one can stop me!!! ~Spot


	2. Three Tyrants at the Carnival

Three Tyrants at the Carnival  
  


  
Cell stretched and looked over at Freeza, who was sitting in a large leather chair beside him, wearing a full body cast. "Hey glass head, the carnival is in town, you up for it?" Freeza's eyes methodically shifted to Cell, and if the cast could express hatred then that's exactly what it was doing. Cell snickered and got off of the couch. "I'll go tell Buu that we're going thenn...I'm sure he'll be jumping for joy." Freeza grumbled and started rocking back and forth on his chair.  
Cell knocked on the closet door. "Hey Buu! You in there?" There was silence for a moment, then in a sing-song voice Buu responded. "Whoooo iiiis iiiiit?" Cell sighed and folded his arms over his chest. "It's Cell...we're going to the carnival, get yourself ready." The closet door burst open, knocking Cell backwards, and Buu came flying out with a look of insane glee upon his face. "The Carnival?! That's so nifty!! Let's go let's go let's go!!!!!" Buu flipped over and over, making what can only be described as cries of joy. Cell stood up and brushed himself off. "Great....go get Freeza..."  
  
Two minutes later, Buu and Cell landed infront of the Carnival, and Freeza slammed into the ground behind them. Buu looked over and Freeza and blinked. "I thought you could fly...." Freeza jostled around inside his cast, his eyes expressing sheer rage. Buu shrugged and picked him up, tucking him under his arm. "Well, no harm done....let's get to the rides!!!!" Cell shook his head and walked through the carnival gate. "Sir, you have to purchase tickets!" Cell turned his head to see the sales clerk by the ticket booth. "I don't need tickets...." The clerk paused for a moment, looking Cell up and down. "Are you part of the freak show?" Cell walked slowly over to the ticket booth and leand over the counter, putting his face right in front of the clerks. "Say that again...." The clerk hesitated for a moment, then repeated his question. "A...are you in the freak show?" Cell growled and proceeded to grab the clerk by the collar and throw him into the distance. Dusting his hands off, Cell walked through the gate unabated. Buu bounced after him, Freeza still tucked under his arm with a sweatdrop over the cast's head. Cell looked over at Buu. "You want to go on the roller coster first?" Buu's face stretched out as he dropped Freeza and dashed past Cell towards the roller coaster. Cell stooped down and slung Freeza over his shoulder. "I'll take that as a yes....."  
Cell got over to the roller coaster and walked right past the line, sitting down in the first car and placing Freeza beside him. The operator walked over to him and placed his hand on his shoulder. "Sir...I'm going to have to ask you to leave...skipping the line is not allowed...." Cell turned his violet eyes to the operator. "I'm sorry...could you come a little closer? My hearing isn't all that good...." The operator complied and was prepared to repeat his statement when Cell grabbed him by the neck and tossed him into the sky. "That's much better....." Buu jumped into the roller coaster behind them and fastened himself in. "Start the ride! Start the ride!" The first person on the line, having rather good sense, dashed over and pushed the button to start the ride. Buu threw his arms into the air. "WEEEEE!!!!!!!!!" Cell closed his eyes and fell asleep as the roller coaster went down the first drop. The only thing out of the ordinary was Freeza's muffled cries of terror as he flew out of the car and landed on the pavement headfirst. Cell opened his eyes and looked down at Freeza. He smirked and closed his eyes again. "Poor fool..." Buu's cries of joy escalated as the roller coaster went through a cork-screw turn.  
  
Cell stepped off the roller coaster and grabbed Freeza by the head of the cast. Buu jumped out of the car and landed in a handstand. "What's next?!" Cell walked towards the midway, dragging Freeza behind him. Buu walked on his hands after him and stopped in front of the first stand. He grabbed the water pistol and sat down happily. "That's one dollar plea..." The sentence was never finished, as Cell squashed the carnie into the ground and turned the guns on. "Go ahead Buu...." Buu aimed the pistol at Freeza and pulled the trigger, drenching him. "Hee hee! This is fun! Next!" Buu dropped the pistol and bounded over to the merry go round. Cell took one of the straps from Freeza's wet cast and pulled him along like a wheeled duck. Buu jumped onto the merry go round and the ride operator looked at Cell. Cell said nothing and got on beside Buu. The operator started the ride with a trembling hand. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" The scream came from Freeza, who was being dragged along on the outside of the ride by Cell. Freeza's cast unwraveled and he tumbled onto the bumper car field. "ugh..." he looked up just in time to be hit in the face with a bumper car and sent flying into the elecrtical gate. "GEYAH!" Cell looked over at Freeza, then at Buu. "Freeza's having fun without us...." Buu sniffled and rubbed his eyes. "I'll show him..." Buu floated off the merry go round and over to Freeza. "You big meanie!" Buu fired a large pink beam at Freeza, who had no choice but to be blasted out of the carnival and through the boardwalk. Cell walked up beside Buu and put his hand on his shoulder. "Come on...let's go home...." Cell began walking towards the gate, but was stopped by thirty armed police officers. "FREEZE!!!!!!!!" Cell sighed. "You have the wrong person...the glass headed guy already left...." The police looked at each other, then reaimed their guns at Cell. "Put your hands up! Your under arrest!" Cell grinned and walked towards the group of policemen. They opened fire, sending their bullets through Cell with no effect. Cell looked extremely happy as he pounded the hell out of the police squad. After he was done, Cell brushed his hands off and looked around for Buu. "Hey Buu, you still here kid?" Getting no response, Cell looked around again. "There he is!!!" Cell looked over his shoulder with a sweatdrop on the side of his head. "Dear lord no....." Cell ran for his life out of the carnival, pursued by a pack of screaming teenage girls. The carnival would have been deserted at this point, if not for Buu being in the cotton candy machine, spinning around and eating the sugary-sweet fluff with a smile beaming off of his face.


	3. Three Tyrants on Halloween

Three Tyrants on Halloween  
  


Buu: *run around the apartment bouncing off walls and screaming* It's Halloween! It's Halloween!  
  
Cell walks into the room and Buu, not looking where's he's going, crashes right into him. The two of them topple over and land in a heap on the floor.  
  
Buu: Hey Cell! Guess what?  
  
Cell: It's Halloween?  
  
Buu: *backflips into the air, riccochets off the wall and lands in a crouch on the floor* YEAH! How'd you guess?!  
  
Cell: *stands up* Gee I dunno...maybe it was luck.....  
  
Buu: Yeah probably.....  
  
Cell: *sighs*  
  
Buu: So what are you going to dress up as?! I'm gonna be Aladdin! Isn't that nifty?!  
  
Cell: ........  
  
Buu scratches his head and blinks at Cell.  
  
Buu: Something wrong?  
  
Cell: No....nothing's wrong....anyway, I'm going to dress up as Batman.  
  
Buu: NIFTY!  
  
Freeza stalks into the room, trying to be devious and failing. Cell inclines an eyebrow and grabs him by the shoulder.  
  
Cell: What the hell are you doing?  
  
Freeza: Trying to avoid the two of you.....  
  
Cell: *snickers* Sorry, but we can't have that. Your going to dress up for Halloween whether you like it or not.  
  
Freeza: .......but I don't like it.....  
  
Cell: Then it's settled.  
  
A half hour later Buu is standing in the living room dressed as Alladin, holding a bag in his hand and smiling like an idiot. Cell, fully clad as Batman, drags Freeza out of his room. Freeza folds his arms over his chest, none too happy that he was forced to be the scariest thing of all.....a lawyer.  
  
Cell: Come on, let's go....  
  
Freeza: No chance in hell.....  
  
Buu: But it'll be so nifty!!!!!!  
  
Freeza: ........  
  
Cell: This is your last chance Freeza....  
  
Freeza: *sighs* Fine...let's go....  
  
The three of them leave the apartment through the gaping hole in the wall that still hasn't been fixed. Landing on the street, they look around at all the little kids dressed up in their Pokémon/Digimon/Power Ranger costumes.  
  
Freeza: Dear lord.......  
  
Buu: *stars in his eyes* NIFTY!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Buu takes off, leaving a blazing trail behind him. He stops at the first house and puts his finger through the bell. He repeats the process and is soon out of sight.  
  
Cell: *sweatdrop*  
  
Freeza:. ..........  
  
Cell: I think he's a little excited, what do you think?  
  
Freeza turns around and makes a break for it, ducking into a dark alley way. Cell narrows his eyes and jumps ontop of the building, decsending down into the alley in front of Freeza.  
  
Cell: Where do you think you're going?  
  
Freeza: You'll never take me alive!!!!  
  
Freeza reaches into his pocket and pulls out an AK-47. Aiming at the Batman clad Cell, he begins firing freely. Cell covers his face with his cape and ducks into the shadows. Freeza drops the gun and bolts through a convienient door. Cell follows him inside and begins looking around for him.  
  
Cell: Chikusho....it's dark....  
  
Cell reaches over for the light switch, which moves to his fingers and allows him to turn on the lights. As the lights go on, two tanks of evil acid come into view and Freeza is running up the metal stairs to a walkway extending over them. Leaping from his position, Cell chases Freeza up the stairs. Freeza turns around and kicks Cell in the chin.   
  
Freeza: KAPOW!  
  
Cell tumbles down the stairs in a flash of light, only to get back up again and race up to the walkway. Freeza reaches the end of the walkway and finds the door locked sturdily with a chair against the handle...on the inside.   
  
Freeza: Damn......  
  
Freeza turns around, glaring across the walkway at Cell and a smile crosses his lips.  
  
Freeza: You may think you have me.....but you'll have to take me on first!  
  
Cell: .........  
  
Freeza: HA!  
  
Freeza runs at Cell, who stands up straight. Freeza crashes into Cell and falls backwards, flipping over the guard rail and hanging on for dear life. Cell walks infront of Freeza and lays down next to the rail.   
  
Cell: Give me your hand.......  
  
Freeza: NEVER!  
  
Cell: Alright then....  
  
Cell extends his palm towards Freeza and fires a ki blast into his face, sending the glass headed alien into the acid.  
  
Freeza: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Freeza splashes around in the acid and Cell stands up, brushing himself off and looking down at Freeza. Freeza sinks into the acid slowly, raising his trembling hand into the air. Cell shrugs and floats off the walkway and onto the floor. Everything is quiet until Freeza's hand clamps onto the edge of the tank and he hauls himself out. Cell watches as Freeza drops to the floor.   
  
Freeza: ...give me a mirror.....  
  
Cell: .......  
  
Freeza: A MIRROR!  
  
Cell pulls a mirror out of his pocket and throws it at Freeza. It hits him in the head and shatters.  
  
Freeza: *rubs his head*....can i have another one please?  
  
Cell pulls out another mirror and throws it at Freeza. Freeza catches the mirror and looks at it. The purple part of his head has turned green and his lips are bright red, permanantly stretched in a smile. His suit has turned from black to purple, and his tie is now green. His skin, if possible, has turned an even brighter shade of white.  
  
Freeza: *chuckles for a moment, then cackles insanely*  
  
Cell: ........  
  
Freeza: Do you like what you've done?!   
  
Cell: Freeza, I think it's time to go home.....  
  
Freeza: NO! Freeza is no more! There is only........The Jestor!  
  
Cell: ...........eh......  
  
Freeza: What?  
  
Cell: Don't you mean The Joker?  
  
Freeza: YOU FOOL!!!!!!  
  
Freeza pulls a trout out of his pocket and throws it at Cell. The trout explodes, sending a mushroom cloud into the sky. Cell blinks and coughs, sending smoke into the air.  
  
Cell: Alright, that does it.....  
  
Cell pulls out a remote control and pushes a few buttons on it. The theme from Batman begins to blast out of nowhere and Freeza takes a step back.  
  
Freeza: You fiend.....  
  
Cell: Your damn right....  
  
Cell jumps at Freeza and tackles him, rolling onto his feet after he does so. He turns around, flicking his cape back with his hand and looking down at the unconcious Freeza.   
  
Cell: I will continue to defend the innocent.....to inflict fear in the hearts of criminals.....I AM BATMAN!!!!  
  
Buu crashes through the window, his eyes dialated and foaming at the mouth.   
  
Buu: MORE CANDY!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Cell: **O.O  
  
**Buu: Don't you look at me in that tone of voice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Cell: *sweatdrop* ....st...stay back!  
  
Buu: EYAH!!!!!!!!!  
  
Buu pounces Cell and bites into his arm, revealing that Cell is indeed made of chocolate and filled with caramel.   
  
Cell: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Buu finishes eating Cell's arm and sits down, his hunger sated for the moment. Cell regrows his arm and Freeza sits up.   
  
Freeza: Is Halloween over?  
  
Buu: Halloween!?  
  
Cell: .......shimata...........  
  
Freeza and Cell, who bolt through the door at top speed, chased by the sugar driven Buu.


	4. Three Tyrants POV

Three Tyrants P.O.V.  
  


News Reporter: There was a remarkable chain of events today, as an actual alien craft landed in the city today. The event could have turned into a disaster, had it not been for three well known men in this city, Cell, Buu and Freeza, who were there to put down the alien threat. The details of it have yet to be revealed, but we have with us in the studio the three hero's of the day, and we'll see if we can't work out the story....we have with us first Buu....hello Buu...  
  
*Buu walks up next to the reporter*  
  
Buu: Hiya!  
  
Reporter: Well, Mr.Buu, in your own words describe what happened today.  
  
*Buu nods*  
  
Buu: Sure thing! Well it was like this....I was sitting at home infront of our nifty new sun roof thinking about the nifty time we had at the carnival and wondering about what happened to my beloved friend Spot....  
  
Reporter: I'm sorry...Spot?  
  
Buu: Yes Spot...he's my fish.  
  
Reporter: I see...well, continue...  
  
*Buu smiles and nods*  
  
Buu: Okay! Well, Cell was on the couch writing down something or other, he's a real smart guy ya know. I don't know where Freeza was, but I guess it didn't much matter...he's a bit of an oddball...but anway, I got up from my thinking to get something to eat when I saw all these nifty lights outside the window! Well, they were just so nifty that I had to go see what they were, so I took the shortcut out of the sun roof. When I got to where them nifty lights were, I saw this really big metal football! At least I think it was a football.....but that's where the lights were coming from, so I guess it couldn't have been a football. I'm a smart guy too, ya know. So there I was, with this big flashing football on the street and people running around waving their arms like chickens. I guess they were on the other team. It didn't really matter, because then the football shot me! I didn't really like that, so walked right up to it and kicked it! Sure enough, it blew up and I went back home.   
  
*The Reporter scratches his head with a puzzled look on his face*  
  
Reporter: Well...thank you Mr.Buu....  
  
Buu: *smiling* Sure thing!  
  
*Buu grabs the reporter's hand and shakes it then walks off the camera*  
  
Reporter: *clears his throat* Well...we now have with us Freeza...welcome Mr.Freeza....  
  
*Freeza grumbles and slams his tail onto the floor*  
  
Reporter: Yes well...Mr.Freeza, could you describe for us what occured today?  
  
*Freeza scowels*  
  
Freeza: Fine, I'll tell you what should be blatantly obvious. That idiotic spaceship landed in the street on my tail! I had no other choice but to destroy it mercilessly. It exploded with sufficient energy to suit my needs, as you can see....  
  
*The Reporter looks over at the flaming remains of the spaceship, along with the entrails and blood of the extra terrestrials. There's a crater in the center of the street, which engulfs some of the surrounding buildings.*  
  
Reporter: Yes...I can see that...well thank you.....  
  
*Freeza grumbles and walks off the camera, and Cell steps up beside the reporter*  
  
Cell: I assume I'm next...  
  
Reporter: Yes that's right Mr.Cell...  
  
*Cell inclines an eyebrow*  
  
Cell: Mr.Cell?  
  
Reporter: Is there a problem with that?  
  
Cell: Do you like living?  
  
Reporter: So Cell, what happened today?  
  
Cell: That's better. Now I can tell you....but I still may have to kill you later on. At any rate, I was on the couch writing down all the dates I was forced to make after being chased out of the carnival, and Buu was sitting by the gaping hole in the side of the apartment sunbathing. Freeza was sitting in the corner hugging his knees and rocking back and forth, muttering about something or other. Well, when the ship landed and I noticed the flashing lights, I immediately went outside to see what they wanted. I can't have people moving in on my territory from other planets, you see. Well, Buu came out too, shouting something about the ship being "nifty", and the ship opened fire on us. Well, i had no other choice but to defend the populace and destroy the ship with a single blast. I'm afraid that I may have overjudged the power of the ships defenses a bit, and that explains the chaos that you see behind us.  
  
*The Reporter nods*  
  
Reporter: Thank you Cell, I seem to have gotten an accurate story out of you. Well this has been a.....  
  
*A man came running up to the camera*  
  
Man: WAIT!!!  
  
*The reporter and Cell turned to the man questioningly as he finally reached them*  
  
Man: That's not what happened! I saw it all! The real story goes like this...the space ship came down and landed in the middle of the street, flashing lights and shooting everything in sight, when these three come falling out of the gaping hole in their apartment and land headfirst on the pavement. Well, the three of them got up very upset and stormed over to the ship. The aliens took one look at them and turned their speakers on, saying "Shimata! We can't invade a planet of freaks!" and then they self destructed.  
  
*The Reporter blinks*  
  
Reporter: Cell, is that what really happened?.....Cell?  
  
*The Reporter turns around to see Cell swinging the man around by the foot and throwing him into a building*  
  
Cell: Learn to keep yer mouth shut!  
  
Reporter: Good lord!  
  
*Cell turns and looks at the reporter with a murderous look*  
  
Cell: HAA!!!!!!!!  
  
*The camera falls to the ground and becomes all staticy, and the screams of Cell's victims are heard loud and clear before the camera goes dead*


	5. Three Tyrants Icy Manipulator

Three Tyrants: Icy Manipulator  
  
Day One  
  
Dear Diary: Hey it's me!!! Sorry I haven't written anything in a while, I couldn't find any pidgeons to write with...Cell was telling me something about these things called "pens" and "pencils", and they sound really nifty! I just can't find any....ah well, I found another pidgeon anyway, and my ink hasn't dried out yet! So hopefully I'll be writing alot more often. Anyway...where should I start? Let's see...we all got fired from our old jobs, if I hadn't told you already, but luckily enough, we all got new ones!!! And we're working all together now! Isn't that great? We're a special organized unit, designed to rid the base of all evil!! Uh-oh....I see some now......I'll write later.  
  
~Buu  
  
Stupid Book: Kame damn it all, Buu went and found all our stupid diaries and he's jumping all over the place begging us to write again...I have nothing better to do, so..here I am. I went and got the three of us new jobs, working together at the amusement park as janitors. For some reason, Buu keeps grabbing the mop and jumping off benches, frantically washing everything in sight...even the people. Ah well...as long as he's happy. Thankfully, I have a broom in my hands to keep the women away...yeah, they still can't get over me...especially in such a crowded place like this, they're all over the place. It's all I can do just to keep them back, let alone clean the park...and that idiot Freeza's just moping around, dragging his trash can behind him, muttering under his breath. I can't blame him, really...it's not easy not being perfect, I suppose...then again, I don't remember that too well...I've long since rid myself of that condition. Damn...here they come again....  
  
~Cell  
  
Captains Log: That poor misguided soul, Cell, has gotten me into more than he knows. Oh woe is me...what's to become of me? It wasn't so bad at first...but on the very first day...there they were....rats. I...I....I can't take this for too much longer! They're everywhere! I try to keep calm, but it's so hard...and I don't know why, but I think there's something else behind the scenes...I can't put my finger on it. I'll try to look into it...but these overwhelmingly powerful creatures may get the better of me....  
  
~ Freeza  
  
Day Two  
  
Stupid Book: Oh blast it all, Freeza went and disappeared, and the boss is holding me responsible....I swear, that glassy headed hermaphrodite is more trouble than he's worth! And to make matters worse, Buu went and shined the head of a bald man while he was eating at the food court...that didn't go over to well. The man, unfortunately for him, happened to be a proffesional boxer, and promtly got up and punched the stuffing out of Buu. I think Buu forgot that he could be considered this man's god for a moment, because he just got thrashed for about a minute or so. I caught his eye and reminded him of it.....which some people may consider a mistake...but being perfect, I don't make mistakes. Anyway...Buu jumped up and bit the guy in the head and wrestled him to the ground...and it just got...bloody from there. Sadly enough, Buu got all worked up from this and started beating the hell out of everyone in the food court.....with sausage links from one of the stands. The boss came running over and told me to stop him, tearing his hair out. I really didn't see the problem with it, but I complied...he does pay the bills, after all. So I walked over, bopped Buu on the head and tossed him a sugar cube...that shut him up for a while, then I told him to run along, and he did. It was kind of odd though...during Buu's little stunt, everything turned blue. Didn't bother me too much, really...  
  
~Cell  
  
Dear Diary: Today was so productive...I had my first real chance to put a stop to evil! I calmly walked over to a nice globe and began polishing it...and then suddenly it turned into this huge monster! He began attacking me, but I was too stunned to do anything for a moment. Luckily, my good old buddy Cell shook me out of it...but I guess he was too scared to do anything to help. That's alright though, because I showed that monster who was boss! He went down fairly easily...and that's when I saw that the entire eatery was infested with similar monsters! I looked around frantically for a moment, then saw a glimmering beacon of hope! What luck I have to run into a weapon stand in the middle of the base! I quickly grabbed the nunchaku that were hanging there and let them have it!! It got really cold though, I don't know why. Ah well...anyway, Cell came over, obviously over his shock, and gave me a nice treat for a job well done and I went about my business within the base. This job is so nifty!  
  
~Buu  
  
Captains Log: I'm writing this in secret...I've gone into hiding...it's just too dangerous out there. I've made the fun house my base of opperations, as it's easy to hide myself there, for some odd reason. I think I'm onto something...there's been cold breezes blowing through the park lately, and there's been oddly shaped clouds in the sky...I can't really make out any distinguishable shape yet...but I'm working on it. Oh no....I hear something in the shadows over there! I have no more time, I may have to run!  
  
~Freeza  
  
Day Three  
  
Captains Log: I'm being held captive by masked creatures...I...don't know where I am, only that we've remained inside the park. I don't know who's behind all this, yet, but I am working on it as best I can under these harsh conditions...these creatures are obviously from a higher plane of existance, and can easily waste anybody they stand against...this is evident, simply because of the ease they show in dispatching myself....it would take a miracle to free myself...  
~Freeza  
  
Dear Diary: I wonder where Freeza went? I haven't seen him in a few days. That whacky Freeza! He's always getting into trouble! Why can't he be more like me? I'm such a level headed guy, who knows what's going on. Like today, for example. While I was going about my rounds, a monster went rocketing over head, holding about thirty people captive on it's back! They were screaming and flailing their arms around, so I took it upon myself to get up there and stop it! You think they would be greatful, after knocking the monster onto the ground and pounding on it for a bit, then taking them all to saftey, but they were all upset! I'll never understand these people....  
~Buu  
  
Stupid Book: I was forced to beat away the crowds again this morning on my way into work. Freeza disappeared, but that doesn't really bother me. That glassy headed freak can do whatever he wants. That idiot Buu went and wrecked a roller coaster today, screaming battle crys at the "monster". I don't know what I'm going to do with him...there's been a rather large influx of mice lately. They're odd looking too, even for mice. They're sort of deformed. Anyway, the boss man told me to take care of them. I, reluctantly, kicked him through the midway and went about my business. Hell, it's not my job to clean up mice, I'm a janitor, not an exterminator....  
~Cell  
  
Day Four  
  
Stupid Book: What...the hell...is going on? With my super powerful perfect mind, even I can't figure it out. The entire park was blue this morning.....everything. The buildings, the rides, the people, the air...everything. Not only that, but it was freezing cold. On the bright side, I didn't have to fight off crowds of women today. Another odd thing...there was a sign in the front of the park that said: "My time has come". While I was pondering all this, Buu went and blew up the sign and kicked the ashes....I just...didn't even ask.  
  
Day Five  
  
Fools: Nobody realized my plan until it was too late! That idiot Freeza almost found out, so I had to take care of him early..but my calculations were correct...nobody gave a damn. Today, when the park opened, I the mighty Spot, rose up with my armies of darkness, and displayed Freeza for all to see...crucified upon a mighty sub-zero post of my own design. My legionaires streamed out, biting everybody in their weakest point...the ankles! That fool Cell looked up at us wide-eyed, unable to do anything as I froze him. Buu, on the other hand, was wearing blue spandex for some ungodly reason, and tried to fight me....the difference in his power was uncanny...this spandex must somehow be a power amplifier...I will look into it. After wholloping him soundly, though with the loss of my army, I took my transportation device, turned my hat around, and took off into the sunset.  
  
  
  



	6. Three Tyrants: House Guest

Three Tyrants: House Guest  
  
Day One:  
  
Dear Diary: Yo-ho, it is Buu once again! I'm oh so sorry for not updating my journal since we were off super-heroing that last time...but we all came down with horrible colds when we thawed out, and every time I tried to write in my journal I was dripping all...what was I talking about again? Oh well. So yeah, we made a new friend! Frieza is off on a vacation, Cell says, so we got somebody to help pay the rent while he's gone! Isn't that nifty?! I gave him a journal so he can cherish the memories forever and always.  
  
Bai!  
  
~Buu  
  
Stupid Book: I, the perfect one, have once again appeared to catalogue my comings and goings and the weariness of my perfection. Combating a horde of love-sick girls is no easy feat when your perfect immune system is entertaining a cold, however I of course managed it. It comes with being perfect. After the last attack by Buu's wayward demi-god, I was forced to take the perfect path to recovery and hastily and most tactifully retreat. Frieza is off in La-la land, ranting and raving about the Diabolical Horror that comes in the night, so I had him committed. Being that which I am (perfect), I had a backup plan to cover his share (80%) of the rent. We shall see where this leads.  
  
~Cell  
  
Blasted Thing: I refuse to stoop to such inferior methods of communication as this! I shall never be reduced to spouting drivel at the whim of a pathetic lifeform that writhes about upon the ground like a maggot beneath me! The only reason I am here now is to prove that I am now and forever the most superior warrior on this or any other planet! ....Bulma kicked me out.  
  
~Vegeta  
  
Day Two:  
  
Stupid Book: I don't quite know what was going through his mind at the time, but our stunted new roommate challenged me to single combat when I removed the milk from the refridgerator. I see in Vegeta a kindred spirit, though he is far from perfect. He has potential, so sayeth Cell. Needless to say, I quelled his minor rebellion with the utmost efficiency.  
  
~Cell  
  
Dear Diary: Why was Cell sulking in the bathroom before? It looked almost as if he were upset. I've never seen Cell upset! He's always smiling that happy little smile of his and going about his life so cheerfully that I never imagined he could possibly have a care in the world! Oh well. Our house guest is so nifty! He promised me that he would teach me to ride the new bicycle that I got! The one with the pink flyers on the handlebars and that nifty little bell. He said he had one just like it at home, and there was a trick to riding it. I'm going to have so much fun!  
  
~Buu  
  
Blasted Thing: I didn't have any luck when I called Bulma on the phone earlier today. She didn't want to take me back, even though I told her that I was making friends with Buu and Cell. She still thinks I'm stuck up, arrogant, and anti-social. THAT ROTTEN LITTLE--nevermind. It is no use raving about it to a GOD DAMNED--  
  
~Vegeta  
  
Day Three:  
  
Blasted Thing: I saw Bulma at the Mall today, arm-in-arm with that PATHETICALLY WEAK Yamcha. What is she doing to me!??!?!   
  
~Vegeta  
  
Dear Diary: My new friend Vegeta took me shopping today, and then he started the greatest game! We were in the Food Distribution Area and he started playing tag with all the people! I joined in, but I think he beat me. He's REALLY good at tagging people! I did my absolute best to keep up with him, but he was so focused that it was hard. I tagged him out of frustration when I thought that I lost, and he said that it was all over now. So I went back home. He looked a bit upset when he got back. I wonder why?  
  
~Buu  
  
Stupid Book: That confounded little upstart Vegeta thinks he can steal my fan-girls?! I saw at least eight of them this morning flocking to him rather than to me! I will not stand for this! I don't care what's going on, nobody steals my fan-girls!! It's entirely unperfect!  
  
~Cell  
  
Day Four:  
  
Dear Diary: I was the only one home today. Everything was all quiet when I woke up, and nobody had left a note or anything. I made the best of it, using the gym for a few hours and then using the great frisbees that our new friend brought in with him. They're so fragile though, so I guess that's why he brought so many of them. Well, I had a fun day at home all by myself! I guess that's good every once in a while, right? I wonder what happened to Spot though....  
  
~Buu  
  
Blasted Thing: I CANNOT BELIEVE IT! Not only did that rotten little freak Cell attack me this morning for "taking what's rightfully his," when I came back to the appartment, all of my Brittany Spears CD's were broken!! That lousy Buu! Does he think he can get away with this?!?!?! And as for Cell...well his claim for what is rightfully his is not only pathetic, but I shut him down entirely by beating the life out of him. That will teach him not to mess with the Prince of all Saiyans!  
  
~Vegeta  
  
Stupid Book: I ambushed the unsuspecting little pipsqueak this morning, and being perfect I executed my plan with the utmost and brutal efficiency. I had already executed the fan-girls in question by this point, and the time had come for Vegeta to be dealt with. I beat the lousy Saiyajin-stuffing out of him and had him begging for mercy. That will teach him to mess with Cell!  
  
~Cell  
  
Day Five:  
  
Captains Log: I returned today to find my position as supreme overlord held captive by that monkey Vegeta. I remember him from my younger, wilder days when we were still in college and...well, nevermind about that. I taught him to fear my new found power, and I have reclaimed my place as the dominant member of the household! Frieza wears the pants now!!!  
  
~Frieza  
  
Fools: I have corrupted the mind of that insignificant speck Frieza, and now he is my surrogate. I can no longer be bothered dealing with these peons, and he/she will suffice for my methodical workings. Soon all will be at my command, and wearing the emblazoned black dot, as Frieza.  
  
~Spot 


End file.
